Girls who are “Spiritual but NOT religious…”

Gents, many of the women you meet will proudly proclaim on first dates or on their online dating profiles to be…
“Spiritual but not religious.”

It’s a very modern, cosmopolitan, mainstream thing to think about oneself that I wouldn’t regard as a major red flag of a “blender” — a woman that you should avoid getting involved with. But I draw a distinction between genuinely religious women and “spiritual” women. Organized religion and church attendance imbue some concrete morality, humility, self-control, and fear of the metaphysical consequences of sin whereas a lot of Eastern and new age spiritual dalliances are merely dressed up navel-gazing.

The funny thing is that when you question these “spiritual but not religious” girls a little bit — asking how they are spiritual — they rarely can name any kind of spiritual activity that they dedicate time to…
Do they meditate daily?
Do they pray often? Or is it just when they get into some trouble?
Do they seek the guidance of a higher power when making important life decisions?
Do they read the bible or other spiritual books often?
Do they attend any kind of church or engage in spiritual fellowship with others frequently?
Does their spirituality compel them to practice a heightened degree of moral discipline or to contribute meaningfully to those less fortunate? Does their spirituality entail any kind of sacrifice at all?

As far as I can tell, “spiritual but not religious” is mostly just a meaningless platitude that people identify with to feel better about themselves who lack the discipline to attend church or habituate any kind of spiritual practice that imbues a heightened degree of morality. Pop culture has convinced them that religion is retrograde and stupid, but they lack the intellectual curiosity to countenance atheism. In my review of the book Waking Up by Sam Harris, I formulated this definition of spirituality:

Seeking to understand our minds, the nature of self, and our relation to the world more deeply by way of reaching for extraordinary states of consciousness.

A genuinely spiritual person should have a greater degree of self-knowledge which will translate into them knowing their weaknesses and making better decisions. A genuinely spiritual girl might know that she is easily triggered or made anxious by fear-mongering media stories and clickbait articles, so she would moderate her smartphone usage and avoid watching the news on TV. She might know that her self-control goes out the window when she drinks alcohol, so she would drink very little. When she got stressed or irritated she would do meditation, pray, or do yoga to cope instead of eating emotionally or having an outburst and saying hurtful things. Instead of gossiping endlessly, she would have a little empathy for others and be loyal to the absent.
How many girls are you meeting like this? Not many, right?

Now I know what you might be thinking…

So are you saying that religious girls are better? I wouldn’t have a problem with dating someone religious if they weren’t too silly and superstitious about it but I’m not very religious so I wouldn’t seek them out.

I’m not saying that religious women are categorically better, but unless you’re philosophically married to the nihilism of atheism, understand that religious women are more likely to be real women with abundant feminine, yielding Yin energy. The evolutionary purpose of religion is to promote procreation, if you want kids one day, a religious woman will be on board with that. If you want to meet some women that make your dick shrivel up inside you like a scared turtle retreating into its shell, go to an atheism conference!

Not long ago some friends of ours invited us to a small Adventist church here in Bulgaria. There was a very welcoming, social vibe, and even in their small congregation were several very cute, elegant young women. A lot of men meet their future wives in church. If you want a wife don’t be too cool for church.
Importantly, church game is a long game. If you ask five girls out the first Sunday that you visit their church, you’ll catch a not-great reputation. You’ll need to commit to earnestly attending, participating, and contributing to their community. And, you can’t spin plates, you can be social and flirt very subtly with the eligible young women there, but after you’ve asked one out on a date the others will know about it. You’ll need to take some time to court and romance a girl, but it may really pay off.

If you think of yourself as “spiritual but not religious” go look up the inclusive “spiritual” groups in your city. There might be a Falun Gong chapter that meets to do exercises in the park at sunrise or a group meditation class. You’ll have to listen to some wu-wu self-help silliness, and be a little wary of cult recruiters, but there will be nice (if a bit superstitious) girls there.
When girls tell you these cookie-cutter things like…

“I’m spiritual but not religious…”
“I love to travel…”
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best!”

It’s not necessarily a disqualifying red flag, it’s a proceed-with-caution sign, it means that you should, as you spend time together, try to soberly evaluate her character. Asking if she is a virtuous woman, or could become one with a little encouragement. In my new book, Don’t Stick Your Dick in a Blender, you’ll learn about the three conspicuous red flags of a “blender” — deal-breakers that should make you back away slowly from a woman. You’re of course saying…

I wouldn’t date, marry, or make babies with a “blender!” I have standards…

But, if we’re being honest, the standards men have with women become very flexible when they get horny or inebriated. This is why in the book, I list some objective criteria to use to qualify or disqualify a woman you’re dating as someone with who you might have a future.

Don't Stick Your Dick in a Blender

 

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