Want a beautiful girlfriend? Then STOP “focusing on your career!”

By Jonathan Roseland

Men often tell me “I’m not really dating right now, I’m just focusing on my career…”

Many decent, ambitious men, given the state of the sexual marketplace, choose to just focus on their careers. They imagine that in just a few years, when they’re making good money and can afford to status signal a little with a fancy apartment, shiny car, or fly clothes then they will take the dating thing seriously. Their dream girl will appear, swoon at the sight of all their cool shit, and they will live happily ever after together.


If you go back about ten generations into your own ancestry, your male ancestors were just about guaranteed a beautiful maiden if they worked their asses off harder than anyone else, and dominated other men. And this is the way it’s been pretty much since we came down out of the trees as a species, genetically instilling in you this notion that hard work and struggle against the world paid off with a beautiful woman by your side and in your bed.

But, that’s just not the case anymore.

Unless you’re going to be a musician in a band or a “model” photographer, working hard in your career is not going to unlock access to meeting and dating beautiful women. In fact, in a lot of ways, it could work against you…

  • While you’re working your ass off in college to attain a valuable STEM degree, you pass up the chance to date cute college girls.
  • You get that high-paying dream job, but you’re working so hard that you’re exhausted by the end of the day. You barely have the energy to go to the gym, much less to get out of the house to meet and date women!
  • While you’re slaving away nights and weekends on your computer working on your internet business, book, or Entrepreneurial project you sacrifice having a normal social life.
  • Your career demands 50–70 hours a week of your myopic focus on logical problem-solving tasks and when you finally get the chance to talk to a pretty girl you’re stuck in Vulcan mode; you fail to banter with and tease her, you run out of things to say, and she walks right out of your life.

While ambition is an admirable trait that you should hold onto, too many men tell themselves “I’m just focusing on my career now, I’ll worry about dating in the future” as an excuse to procrastinate on undertaking the grand and intimidating adventure of seduction. If you wait until you’ve reached some state of economic comfort before pursuing the kinds of beautiful women you think you deserve, you may be waiting a long time, perhaps forever.

COVID woman date

If you haven’t noticed, the economy almost everywhere is epically FUBAR’d, thanks to the COVID pandemic/plandemic, world war three brewing. and the general devolution of civilization. Isn’t it time to stop using your hopes for your career as an excuse to procrastinate on getting outside your comfort zone and pursuing the kind of woman that you’d like in your life?

In my life, I’ve never been a millionaire, but I’ve had some times when my hard work really paid off, I could afford nice clothes, a nice car, a dope bachelor pad downtown, and $14 cocktails at swanky bars and clubs.

I’ve also been broke and could barely afford crappy apartments and it didn’t make much difference in my dating life. Unless you’re so dead broke that you can’t afford to put a roof over your head or food on the table, your bankroll and relative career success just don’t make that much of a difference in whether women reject you.

celebrity scandals

You see these celebrity scandals all the time with some rich, famous guy that marries a beautiful woman, and then years later, she heartlessly betrays him, divorces him, and gets a bunch of his money. This should teach you something, you don’t want to marry or even be in a serious relationship with a woman who loves you because of your financial success. You want a woman who’s willing to throw the dice and make a bet that you’ll end up a successful man who can provide a good life for her. Drop this limiting belief that you need to be rich or successful to get a beautiful girlfriend — how many times have you seen beautiful girls with very economically average yet otherwise cool guys?

Young lovers

When I met my wife, I was not a great economic catch, I was staying in a cheapo hotel, and I couldn’t afford a lot of fancy dinners or luxurious vacations. Instead of showering her with gifts and offering to pay her bills, I asked her for small loans from time to time. Which by the way, is a real social dynamics hack for preventing flakiness; if you owe a girl you’re casually dating money, she’s not going to be taking two days to text you back and she’ll be eager to meet up again!

My wife fell in love with and married me because of attraction factors that are more important than money. Now, while the rest of the world is cowering in fear of COVID, we are optimistically looking forward to becoming parents. In the USA, I’d need a small fortune to afford the healthcare costs of a child, that’s part of the reason I chose to marry a foreign woman from one of the few countries in the world that actually has high-quality affordable healthcare. For me, like for a lot of people, this young decade has been crappy financially, yet my wife and I have argued about money very few times. My wife hasn’t complained once that we do our weekly date nights at home to save money.

My book, Don’t Stick Your Dick a Blender, breaks down a bunch of lifehacks and advanced social dynamics strategies for meeting, seducing, and winning a good woman’s heart without impressing her with money…


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