How to befriend and get hookups from the owners of swanky spots

How to befriend and get hookups from the owners of swanky spots

By Jonathan Roseland

Knowing the owner of a cool bar or restaurant can dramatically increase your social proof.

In my experience, most nightlife venue owners are easy to meet and establish a friendly rapport with, here's how to make the connection...

  1. When you get good service at a bar or venue (you should be frequenting venues that provide excellent service) ask to see the owner. Try to do this during the slower times, like early happy hour on the weekdays.
  2. When the owner comes over let them know that you experienced great service and will be coming back. Then make sure you give the owner your business card.
  3. Tell the owner you will be writing them a good review on Google Maps,, or Facebook Places (this is golden to the ears of a venue owner!) Then go home and actually do it or better yet do it on your smartphone and show it to them right there.
  4. They will be tripping over themselves next time you arrive at their venue to give you great service and drinks on the house.


So now that you "know people" and have a hookup at a swanky joint, there are a couple of things I'm going to recommend to maintain and maximize the benefits of this relationship...

  • Chances are very good this venue has a social media page, go follow it so you can stay updated on events going on. If the owner seems friendly and you get their name connect with them on social media. These types of businesspeople usually live very public lives so you can usually learn a few interesting details (where they travel, what their interests are, etc.) that if brought up later do a great job of deepening the relationship.
  • Social media really is a big part of bar or restaurant marketing these days so don't underestimate the value to a venue owner of you spreading positive messages online about their spot.
  • Go early, the management and ownership of a venue notice and value the people who show up early at their venue more.
  • If the owner introduces you to anyone, for God's sake, remember their name. There are plenty of easy mental tricks for remembering names that are easy to learn. This shows the owner you value the connections they make for you and deserve to be on the top of the social food chain like them.
  • When they have a neat event going on volunteer to be involved as a host or affiliate promoter. There's a temptation to announce that you want to throw your own event at their spot. I generally avoid this because being a primary event coordinator is major brain damage. You're better off adding yourself, your group of friends, and your marketing message to another event they are doing. I would generally turn down compensation for this if it's offered (unless you want to make a business out of this) in lieu of comped drinks (or bottle service) for you and your friends.
  • Come through a few times a month and drop a little coin before you start asking for guest list hookups or drinks on the house. Let them offer these things first and they usually will.
  • For even more social proof, introduce people to the owner this will make them feel really special.
  • Don't get drunk and make an ass of yourself at their spot, or go with friends that will.

It's a little bit of work to befriend the very busy and in-demand owners and managers of swanky spots in your city, but it will ROI in free drinks, new friendships, good times, and the social capital you'll need to dazzle some prospective business partners, clients, or a hot date!

Want to take your networking game to the next level? Check out the audio chapter, The Secret Society Infiltration Model for "Networking" from my lifehacking manifesto.


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