Can you be a "man going his own way" and MARRIED?
| Ⓒ By Jonathan Roseland |
Applied Neuroscience Strategist, K-Selected Biohacker, Tantric husband, Promethean peaceful parent, Adventuring philosopher, Raconteur & Author. He spent +14 years researching the intersection of human performance enhancement and advanced personal growth in his obsessive quest to find real-life "NZT-48."
Men are going their own way. Is this a good thing?
It's been (very) good for me. I've consistently rebelled against nonsensical and irrational social standards while seeking to live more empirically. And I have a great marriage as a result. From a resplendent beach on the Black Sea, I break down what I do right...
Can you be MGTOW and married?
This question seems to generate endless internet shouting matches. There are men who insist that marriage is categorically insane in the modern world, and others who cling to romantic ideals that ignore legal, biological, and psychological realities entirely. I’ve examined the arguments on both sides thoroughly. In fact, I wrote a 500-page book on relationships, marriage, and modern mating dynamics, because this topic deserves more than memes and rage posts.
My conclusion is simple: Yes, you can be MGTOW and married—if you submit to reason. (And yes, I'll em-dash when I damn well feel like it.)
That phrase matters, so let’s define it.
Submitting to reason (instead of emotion)
Submitting to reason means living philosophically rather than impulsively. It means making decisions, both big and small, based on evidence, empirical observation, and long-term outcomes rather than emotion, habit, or short-term pleasure. If we’re being honest, most human decisions are not rational. They’re driven by emotional loops, dopamine seeking, hedonism, and unconscious patterns. People chase what feels good now rather than what compounds over time.
MGTOW, at its best, is a rejection of that default programming. When you apply that same mindset to marriage, something interesting happens...
Small decisions matter
The quality of your life is shaped less by grand gestures and more by small, repeatable decisions. Those micro-choices compound relentlessly.
Let me give you a concrete example from my own marriage. One of the most common complaints men have about women is smartphone addiction. Endless scrolling. Constant stimulation. Zero presence. And frankly, they’re not wrong—this tech addiction is real, and it’s corrosive to intimacy, sleep, and mental health. Instead of whining about it, I did what a rational person does: I researched it...
An empirical solution, not a fight
I read a dense scientific book on electromagnetic fields and their biological impact, EMF*D by Dr. Mercola. EMFs from smartphones and Wi-Fi routers impair sleep quality, disrupt DNA repair processes, and degrade overall health. The fix is laughably simple: Turn the Wi-Fi off at night.
So I didn’t give my wife a four-hour lecture. I didn’t demand she read the book. I didn’t argue. I said, “For our health and sleep, we’re turning the Wi-Fi off around 11 PM.” She said, “Okay.”
That’s it.
Now, evenings look like this: conversation, intimacy, reading, rest. Better sleep. Better energy. Better relationship. No nightly arguments. No resentment. This is what submitting to reason looks like in practice.
The type of woman this works with...
This only works if you’re with a woman who respects rational leadership and is willing to align with evidence-based decisions. If your relationship is rooted in constant negotiation, emotional power struggles, or ideological warfare, you’re already lost. A rational relationship is one where both people value truth, health, long-term thinking, and implementation over endless discussion. If you have that, being red-pilled and married isn’t a contradiction; it’s the ideal.
The legal reality (and why geography matters)
Now let’s address the elephant in the room. The MGTOWs are absolutely correct about one thing: marriage in many Western countries is legally dangerous for men. Family courts in places like the U.S., Canada, the UK, and New Zealand are hostile to fathers, hostile to property rights, and structurally unjust.
That risk is not theoretical. It’s systemic, which is why I would not get married in those countries. But in many parts of the world, like Eastern Europe (where I live), family law is more sane, less ideological, and less predatory. Jurisdiction matters. Culture matters. Legal systems matter. I’m a strong proponent, with caveats and nuance, of dating and marrying abroad if marriage is something you want. I go deep into this in my book, because it’s one of the most leverage-rich decisions a man can make...
MGTOW was never about isolation
At its core, MGTOW is about sovereignty (or, at least, is for me). About refusing to be manipulated by irrational norms. About building a life based on truth rather than conditioning. That doesn’t mean you must live alone and bang a sex robot. It means you choose deliberately.
My marriage works because it’s built on reason, evidence, leadership, and shared implementation; not fantasy or fear.
This is a complex topic, so if you're a man going his own way that holds out some hope that there might be a good woman out there for you, read my book...
It delves deeply into the kind of advanced frame control strategies you'll need as a man to make marriage or monogamy work in modernity...
DOWNLOAD SAMPLE CHAPTERS from the book
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